Prepping for the 9th! Grippy socks for the win!
I wouldn't have thought about little things like lens wipes, but Papa Roy told me how he likes to bring them to senior centers. He said he used to visit his mom and her glasses could always use a good cleaning. It's the little things.
Also, how cool are these bags? Yes, keep giving the love. — at Anne-Paige.
Handwritten notes to let people know we love seniors and that we care.
We had a VERY busy day planned so I left a little earlier than usual. Oklahoma may have wind sweeping down the plains but the skies make up for some of its neurotic behavior. Also, Ken Toey, that vroom vroom reminded me of a certain one you carry in your pocket.
Stop #1: Norman Regional Hospital
Grandma Faye (Adam's grandma) came here a couple of times after surgery but you were already gone. She didn’t even have a pencil to write down a phone number or anything. Not being one to ask for anything, she was bored out of her mind until someone came to see her. We didn't want anyone else to have to wait to receive these items so we made a big bag of supplies to hand out to patients and left them for others who experience a similar circumstance.
You brought her a ladybug inside her hospital room during a time that ladybugs were not in season and you disappeared just as quickly when the next person came to visit.
I think it was here that the lady at the nurse’s station said that she liked how we noted that you were “borrowed” from Heaven. I told her I always knew you were never really mine. You just had some of my DNA.
Bonus points for pretty flowers!
Stop #2: "Mee Maw's" house!
I should've discovered at this point that all my pictures were being taken in "live" mode, which means a lot of them ended up being blurry. Oh well.
Mee Maw is not my biological grandma but this sweet lady treats me like she is. Do you remember going to visit her? She is the grandmother of a dear friend I met at OU on the day she moved into the dorms and whose family “adopted” me as one of their own ever since. They are my "S family" and always know how to make me feel like a surrogate daughter.
I graduated college post 9/11 (a really terrible day) when advertising executives were being laid off in droves and working at Starbucks to make connections. Companies could pick whoever and whatever experience or specialty they wanted, so until I found my first "real job" Mee Maw rented me her spare bedroom for next to nothing.
I love this feisty, John Phillip Sousa loving, S. Meemz, beautiful, Sooner Sue!
She also knows the heartache of outliving her son.
— with Sue Jansing.
Stop 3-Remember Leesa? My “surrogate sister” has added "Physical Therapy Assistant" to her title. She does home health visits for many elderly patients so we left her some handwritten notes and a few goodies to spread some love.
Her tiny assistants-in-training were also there to greet me and check out your necklace, but the taller one escaped my photos.
Leesa asked me if I had eaten breakfast and when I told her I forgot to grab what I had planned, she whipped up the best bowl of oatmeal I think I've ever eaten in my life. I don't think I've ever left her house without being sent away with food. You would've loved it!
Thank you for looking out for me, Leesa! Hope you had a good day with your patients! So glad I got to see my S. Family today.
— with Hooman Torabi,Suzanne Annesley and Leesa Torabi.
Stop #4: Grandma Faye's House!
Your great-grandma is one of the biggest inspirations for choosing this topic this month. She got one of the cool Anne-Paige bags, too.
You loved to throw your vroom vrooms into Grandma's walker and push it all around the room. Grandma still carries around one of your trucks. Do you see that, Caleb? Your vroom vroom is still there, although I heard you were hitchhiking for a couple days after the vroom vroom fell out of Grandma’s walker during one of her trips to visit the doctor.
Grandma shared a special bond with you and I hope she doesn't mind me posting one pic of our visit even though she hates pictures of herself.
This is another entertaining, sassy, beautiful, genuine lady that I love more than she knows.
Also, Baby Boy, this was a surprise visit and when I arrived, Grandma was sitting in the dark because her light bulb broke down to the socket. She told me she didn't want me to fix it and ehem, that I COULDN'T fix it without cutting myself, so the challenge was accepted. Guess what, Baby? As you can see from the picture, Grandma told me where to find her tools and I fixed the light. Also, please note that there is not so much as even a scratch on any of my fingers. So Caleb, you literally brought light back to her room!
Thank you for pushing me to change this month to honor seniors even if you DID do that this weekend. Next month, could I have a little more notice please?
Stop #5: St. Luke's Downtown (WHAT?)
That's right. AFTER we had already decided to switch this month to celebrate seniors, I found this "Stand Up for Seniors" event hosted by LeadingAge Oklahoma. It was originally scheduled to be at the State Capitol but because of the teacher walkout it just "coincidentally" moved to the same place where you went to daycare. I felt bad not sticking around or saying “hi” to anyone, but I did drive past your class, playground, and drop-off/pick-up parking. Whew. — with LeadingAge at St. Luke's United Methodist Church.
Where am I? What stop is this? Oh yes:
Stop #6-USPS
Sent some love and mailed a package to my only living grandparent, your great-grandma. I met my new friend KiKi (not sure if that is how you spell it or not because according to her name tag, as I teased her, her name was “Trainee"). I liked her right away. She had fun hair with blue and green accents, so that made me know she didn't take herself too seriously. I was the only customer in there (also highly unusual) so she was taking her time and being friendly with me. Her questions went beyond the standard “Do you have anything liquid, fragile, perishable, hazardous, etc?” She noticed that the first name on the package was “Grandma,” and asked me if I spent summers in California with my grandma when I was growing up. I told her that I wished I did but that I've only had a few opportunities to see her in my life. I don’t normally tell people about you in these kinds of settings, but she was genuinely curious why I was sending this package and I think KiKi even said something asking if there was a specific reason I was sending your great-grandma something. Maybe it is rare for people to mail their grandparents a package so she wanted to know more. I told her about “Nice On The 9th” and gave her one of your cards. The lady at the next station heard me talking about you and about SUDC and showed me a picture she keeps at her station of a friend's little one who also died in their sleep. Her friend's child was under 1, so it was labeled as SIDS, but maybe you have now met this new friend, too.
I reminded them to not take any days for granted and had to get a picture of my new friend. Once again, it was on that weird mode, so blur city was all I got. Maybe they are following your page now and will see this posted. I know they will remember you hopefully for a really long time.
Stop #7:
The address listed online for a meal delivery organization was not correct.
Nothing to see here but keep this timing in mind for all the other signs or "coincidences" that were to come.
Stop #8: Bellevue Health & Rehabilitation
Another one of your non-biological Grandmas came here when she was still alive. She was the only person you met in this life who was there with you when you left us on May 2nd.
I will never forget the day we surprised her at her favorite ice cream place and your Aunt Nancy and Uncle Bryan had driven all the way from Colorado just to surprise her. Grandma Nell” walked into the ice cream place, took one look at you and said, "well there's my birthday present right there!" Aunt Nancy did not find it as amusing at the time, but later she wondered if you were her early birthday present for her next birthday.
Grandma Nell spent quite a while here a couple different times so we donated a bag of goodies to remember her. The only reason we had the pleasure of knowing her was because your Aunt Nancy was her neighbor and always took good care of her. She called you a "doll baby" and told me that you were the cutest baby she had ever seen.
I hope you are having fun playing with the doggies and kitties in heaven together. Tell Grandma we said "hi" and that she is also being remembered.
— with Viewfinder Photography at Bellevue.
Stop #9: Buy For Less
They have the BEST flowers here!
We bought a dozen roses since roses are one of your signs. The florist was so kind and patient. I asked her if she had any regular customers who might be coming in today and she told me of a man who comes in every day, sometimes twice a day (Wilbur). I told her to give one of the roses to him so she saved one back. I didn't have the templates inside with me, so I gave her one of your cards to include and told her how you loved older people. I found out later that she sold me a baker’s dozen and gave me a heck of a deal when it was time to ring up. She also told me she was going to share Caleb’s story with her church and pray for Daddy and me. How nice is that?
I handed out the first rose to a lady in the parking lot who was leaving. She asked what she owed me and was surprised when I told her "nothing."
Stop #10: Something told me to turn the opposite direction from where I was headed and there was even a really bright almost shimmery object that caught my attention. I thought to myself that I must be going crazy or really in need of sleep, but then I saw her.
A friendly The Curbside Chronicle vendor, and even though she is probably not old enough to be considered "elderly" we wanted to show her some love, too. She got rose #3.
Grandma Faye insisted on giving me money to use for someone else that you are helping, so it paid for the roses, the magazine, and even had enough to share a little extra with this vendor. I still have 89 cents sitting on the kitchen table so I think I'm going to have to add another quarter to one of the templates and leave it at a dollar store or something.
Also, talk about signs...
On the way to this stop, I passed my guitar teacher and wouldn't have even noticed except he hauls a very distinctive red canoe on top. I still didn't think much of it, except for later when I was talking to Daddy and I thought about how perfectly timed that had to have been and how if the one stop would've been the right address, I wouldn't have passed him. I've been putting music on the back burner even though it is what I love most. I've wanted to give up a lot lately because it always seems like I'm starting over every week and I feel like the judgment for questions like "how long have you been taking lessons" will not have the results I probably should by now. I started playing before we lost you, but even then it wasn't the most ideal time to learn a new instrument. Every day since May 2nd has been beyond challenging and it still isn't a great time to learn, but I'm doing it anyway. I haven't dedicated the time I need or want to making myself as good as I want to be. However, it is one of the things I feel like you are pushing me to do even though it is hard to concentrate and sit still to practice. Neither of us was ever any good at sitting for long periods of time but I promise to keep working on it.
THEN after I am guided over to the Curbside vendor, I see this muscle car that looks like it would fit in with your vroom vrooms. It is hard to tell from this picture, but the way it is painted, it turns from orange to green in the light. Okay, I'm listening. You have my attention.
Stop #11, 12, and 13-Handing out more roses:
-Walgreens parking lot-to a great-grandma
-At the Crossings Clinic to two ladies leaving (view from my back windshield trying not to be a creeper)
-At "Grandma Pat's" work (yes, another one that is not related by blood but that I love dearly. I told her she wasn’t really old enough to get one of these, but she always let my nieces and I call her and her husband "Grandma Pat" and "Grandpa George" when we lived next door, so she still qualified. Do we have some terrific people in our lives or what? — at Crossings Community Center & Clinic.
Okay, Caleb, I told you I was listening, but you knew I was still skeptical.
Stop #14: Dropping off vroom vrooms to a friend in honor of his elderly mother who has Alzheimer's and remembering your Aunt Danna.
Our friend takes recycled jars and puts fun little toppers on them. Then he sells them to raise money for the Alzheimer's Association. We are going to have him make a Millennium Falcon and Lightning McQueen jar so we can help support the cause and we gave him ten other vroom vrooms to sell at the store, too. He said it was perfect timing because he just received a bunch of jars but didn't have any toppers left. He also said people had asked for jars for kids. Imagine that.
Also, on my way to drop these off, yes, I did see the yellow Hummer. Wow.
— with Darrell Willoughby.
Stop #15: So our friend that is raising money for the Alzheimer's Association told me of a place where there might be some people here in need of some extra TLC. I wasn’t sure where I was going to hand out the rest of the roses but figured you would also direct that move. Looks like I was right. The remaining roses went to:
-A lady who was on her way to see a musician. She lit up when she got her rose and kept thanking me.
-A man who will be 104 in June and who gave his rose to one of the caretakers who works her butt off there.
-An 89-year old from Hawaii who has been married for 66 years. She told me to start saving 10% of my money by the time I’m 30. I didn’t burst her bubble and let her know I was well past that age and have always been a frugalista.
-The sweetest and most friendly lady who perked up and got out of bed when she got her rose.
-A gentleman who loves grandfather clocks and started working on his family farm from a very young age. He was having a rough day, but the staff was so kind in holding his hand and letting him talk as long as he needed. I hope the rose let him know that no matter how many bad days he has had, someone is still thinking of him and loves him just the way he is.
-Another grateful lady watching TV in her room.
-And look at that! A picture of a ladybug. I also saw a monarch butterfly one and a cardinal figurine. Hmmmm...
— at Epworth Villa.
Stop #16: (oh and I did swing by a fast food restaurant and grabbed lunch at about 3:30pm)
Victorian Estates Assisted Living Centers
-Daddy got to join me after work!
-This happy soul keeps people who are confused from running away and trying to "go home." He doesn’t complain about the food and has a pretty impressive Polka record collection and saw clock! He has a positive energy about him and even though he never met me before May 1st, 2016, he always tells me that he loves me when I hang up. He told us that another man at the center didn’t like the way they cooked his bacon and he told him to just think of it as nutrition that his body needed. From then on, the other man ate all his food and has stayed healthy.
That's right. You and I met this man and his daughter the day before we lost you. Remember him? I hadn't seen him since that day I met him when you had an ear infection. It was Sunday so your pediatrician's office was closed. He walked in wearing a Gulfstream ServiceCenter jacket and my eyes immediately were drawn to it. That is where my dad worked when he was alive. Apparently it has been out of business for many years so I was shocked to see the familiar logo. I asked him if he knew my dad and he recognized his name immediately even though he has some trouble remembering things now. He told me that he loved it when my dad took him up for a ride along to check out an airplane. He also told me that he even let him fly the plane and was learning a lot from my dad/your grandpa you never met but that is with you now.
Mommy has a hard time remembering details but I remembered his first and last name even after I got home which is a small miracle for me. It really upsets me that you died by yourself without me and it is something I still agonize about every day. My oldest brother, your Uncle Paul Lindo told me that maybe you weren't by yourself and that maybe our encounter was a sign that my dad was there, too. I don't know if that is the case or not, but I DO know that I was meant to meet this wonderful gentle man.
— at Victorian Estates.
Stop #17! Strawberry Fields Senior Living
-As I said in my Facebook Live video, this was not part of the original plan, but is anyone surprised at this point? You had been in so many different cities already that I wanted our last stop to be a senior living center in Mustang, the town closest to where we live. Daddy wracked his brain and the only place he could think of was this place. What?? Also, if people do not believe in signs after ALL of these today, I can’t wait until you do something even more grand like you keep doing for Mommy and Daddy. I admit that I am a skeptic and a person who likes proof, so I'm sorry you have to work a little harder for me. However, as I told you, you know what I need and you keep making my mouth drop open when I’m not sure I should trust my own eyes. Also, the lady inside already knew all about you, Caleb Lennon and said she got emotional just seeing us walking in with our shirts. The goodies we left here are going to be used for this low-income retirement community’s bingo prizes.
April 2018-Nice On The 9th Recap:
7 cities (Norman, Moore, OKC, The Village, Edmond, Yukon, and Mustang)
+ 12 hours of being “Nice On The 9th”
=PRICELESS day of spreading The Caleb Effect with our community.
I love you, Caleb. Now and always.
— with Ken Toey at Strawberry Fields Senior Living & Retirement Community.
And here is the lady from the airplane.
It would be so awesome to find her. She has or had family in the Seattle area in September of 2015 but I can't remember where she and her husband live.
Hi Baby! I love you. I can’t even tell you how much I love you because there aren’t words that exist in this world that are even close to being adequate. Just know that Mommy loves you more than you loved any vroom vroom or even going “wimming,” and think of you far more often than you thought about how wheels on your toys went around and around. You are always on my mind, heart, and soul, and as I’ve told you before, I hope most of my soul already left with you so that you never wonder where Daddy and I went. My love for you is never going to be in the past tense. Saying I “loved” you is not the way I feel about you. You may be gone physically, but I love you and I will ALWAYS love you, Caleb Lennon. You are my everything, my beautiful boy and you always will be.
I still wonder constantly what you are doing and if your days (or whatever they are now) are still consumed with some version of vroom vrooms that keep you curious and able to tune out the rest of your surroundings. However, I know I probably couldn’t even fathom all the things you now know even if I kept trying for the rest of my days here on Earth.
I know this message is coming to you late again but I hope you have been hearing me when I talk to you and already see that it was not physically or mentally possible over the last couple of days. Because of you, Mommy is really trying hard to pay close attention and push herself outside what is comfortable. I’m still not always courageous enough to do the things I think you want me to do, but I AM listening, Baby Boy, and I really do feel you directing me. I want the whole world to know you even if it is just through stories, pictures and videos. I hate it with all my might that this is my only option I have left. Even though my heart is decimated (that means destroyed and crumpled so small there are only tiny pieces like crumbs left), I want to be able to put that aside so everyone can see you through me. I want to represent you even if it is just a tiny fraction of the person you showed me how to be. I know they can’t see your joy and love when I’m sobbing or despondent (that’s a kind of unhappiness that you thankfully never knew). I have to keep getting off the couch, keep trying, and continuing to tell everyone what I think you would want them to learn. It IS hard to answer questions and meet new people (the cards help though and for anyone reading this who has lost a child, you can make your own version from the “Be Nice” section of the website or click here: https://thecalebeffect.com/kindness/ ). I know the first few questions will always include “Do you have kids?” and it does hurt knowing my only baby isn’t in my arms anymore. It CAN be hard to smile on the 9th or when we visit places in the community for you, but I hope you really do know you are always worth it and your life is worth sharing. This is why we celebrate the 9th, because we want everyone to see the way you lived your life and feel your presence and good-nature as it applies to their own.
Maybe that’s why this was the busiest 9th yet because I wanted to send you in as many directions as possible. Did you see what we did for “Nice On The 9th” this month? We decided to postpone our original theme for this month THIS WEEKEND because we wanted to have more time to make sure when we tackle this upcoming topic, we get it right and have the best picture of the situation. Mommy was already running on borrowed steam, but you helped me make it through somehow. Thank you, Baby. I hope you already know everything I tell you. Maybe you even know things that are still to come, but I don’t live in the same dimension where you have been sent, so for now, this is just my way of telling you, and keeping a record for this life.
This month we chose to be nice to people who have been on this planet longer than us. Some of them have been in this universe for quite a bit longer than us and we wanted to make sure they knew they are still really important people in our community.
You LOVED older people and really did have a sixth sense about what they needed and how you could brighten their day. Daddy loved pushing you in the shopping cart backwards so you could greet everyone and I think you enjoyed entertaining the older crowd more than almost anyone else (except babies). Every time you guys would come home from the store, I would ask him to share the details of your new fan club. Each time you guys went, there was a new story about how you made someone’s day. Daddy turned grocery shopping into a fun outing for you and a way for me to get a few things done at home. I have to admit though, sometimes I was jealous that I didn’t get to see some of these interactions, too. I have been told I’m a pretty empathetic person, but I had nothing on you. Caleb, how did you know exactly what every single person needed from you and exactly how to give it to them?
I don’t know if you have memories of your entire life or how that works now, but there was a time when we were on an airplane flying home from visiting your family in Washington and you stretched out your arms to a complete stranger a few rows away. She asked if she looked like someone you knew or maybe a grandmother, but there was no resemblance to anyone in your routine life. She looked pretty harmless and since we were on an airplane, I knew she couldn’t get very far even if she wanted to. I hoisted you over to her and took my seat in our row. The lady lit up as you pointed out the window and jibber-jabbered something I couldn’t understand from where I was sitting. You sat with her for takeoff and went back and talked to her again for probably at least another 30 minutes until we landed. She thanked us for letting you visit with her and we found out that when we had boarded the plane, she was terribly upset because she had just left her own grandkids. She wasn’t crying and Daddy and I probably didn’t even notice her because we were too busy trying to figure out the best way to maneuver what your Uncle Lon termed “crappage” into the overhead bins. However, you did. You didn’t just notice her or even just perceive that she needed you, but you also did something about it. You weren’t even old enough to have your own seat on the airplane, but you found your own way to help her anyway. You stretched out your arms to her and took the edge off her pain. You went even beyond that and made her smile.
This is one of the most perfect examples of how you instinctively knew things that the rest of us couldn’t. I don’t know how I was ever chosen to be your mommy, but it is what I will be most grateful for for the rest of my life. You knew what I needed and always gave me the best tight hugs, extra kisses, the most delightful giggles, and play time spent cracking each other up that made all my stress melt away. I know I am supposed to keep carrying that love and pure joy you shared with me and make it last for the rest of my lifetime. I will cherish every nanosecond I had with you here and I will never stop trying to be more like you, Baby Boy.
Because of you, there are literally hundreds of people who experienced a thoughtful surprise (or are soon to experience one as the goodies are handed out in the coming days and weeks). You only aged two years so you never had to experience things that come with getting older. As we get more candles on our cakes, we usually become wiser and our priorities clearer. Unfortunately there are also some not so great things that come with every “Happy Birthday” song, too. Our health, favorite possessions (that’s stuff we own), privacy, independence, regular human interaction, participation in events, hobbies, and even just access to decent meals can be lost.
We say we don’t have time to visit others because we know sometimes it might take a while to chat or maybe some of our older friends might have trouble saying goodbye as your Uncle Thomas has dubbed “The Lindo Linger.” Booger Bear, you were the exception. You did not walk past an older person, dismiss them, or get angry when they took an extra few minutes to collect an item off the shelf or cross the street. You always made sure to wave at them, say “hi,” give a high-five, or let them know you loved them just as they were. Did you just know these things because you were a child and still so innocent in the ways of the world or were you given some supernatural gifts? We are taught that it isn’t polite to stare at people, but maybe we use that as an excuse to dismiss everyone else and only worry about our own needs. Is it just human-nature or part of self-preservation that as we become adults, we start focusing more and more on ourselves? Whatever it is, I think this may be a good reminder to stop and nonchalantly (that’s when you don’t make it obvious) people watch long enough to notice someone who needs us.
Baby Bear, Mommy realizes now that she has more energy than most people, but I hope the 17 stops (not including lunch) proved that even a small amount of quality time being present with people who need them is possible and necessary even if it isn’t done all in one day. I know Mommy is not the only one going at a 150 mile an hour pace trying to get it all done. There are work obligations, ball games, birthday parties, church events, and all kinds of other distractions, but even a 10-minute phone call on your way to one of these activities could mean the world to someone who spends most of the day by themselves.
Little Bear Cub, you were always the one person who could always keep up with me and I know you are the reason I was able to keep up with you without crashing. Thank you. I miss running around like a crazy person with you so much, but I also hope the 9th was a day that many others also took time to slow down and have a conversation with an elderly neighbor down the street, a grandparent, or a new friend who needs them.
Help us to see what people need and to go further by noticing others. Guide us to look up from our phones and really see people and sense their suffering. Let us reach our arms out to people who need us and encourage us to do go a step further and do something about it. Give us the courage to sit with someone in their pain and make their day. Your Uncle Andy was right, you were a superhero whose powers were to make everyone love you even if they didn’t intend on letting you in their hearts. You are my light in the darkest of places.
One day we will both be in the light and I will get to see you on a day that both of our arms will be stretched out as wide as your smile. I will squeal and sprint as fast as I can to get to you, and I will never let you out of my arms again. All of my pain will disappear and I will finally get to introduce you in person to every last fan you are making here.
I can’t wait to finally experience that kind of day where both of us knows what the other needs and the only thing we need is our little family back intact again. I love you forever, always, and completely.
One day.
I love you.
Love,
Mommy
XOXOXOXOX
#calebeffect
#Niceonthe9th
#eldercare
#SeniorCitizens
#alzheimers
#benice
#dosomething
#signsareeverywhere